Where is the protection for abused women??

I was controlled by fear for 10 years. I was physically, emotionally, sexually, and mentally abused. I got the strength to leave the marriage back in November. Since then my husband has called the cops on me numerous times, called CPS on me, told me that he is going to keep taking me to court and calling the cops on me so I will end up spending thousands of dollars. I have answering machine messages recorded with him saying all of those things!

I got a restraining order on him after he told me that he could easily arrange to kill me. I was not notified that he had a court date so I was not able to go to defend myself. He played the victim and convinced the judge to drop the order! Now it is only a "refrain from" order. He has to refrain from intimidation, threats, and harassment. He still leaves messages threatening to call the cops on me if I don't let him see his kids. I got a divorce. I have sole custody and his visitations are "as agreed upon" by both parties. I have asked him if he wanted to see the girls and he always said no. His reason was because he hadn't bought them Christmas presents yet, and this is MARCH when he says this! The kids call him and he will call two days later saying that he hasn't spoken to them in weeks. He will disappear for weeks and then start calling again saying that he calls all the time but no one ever answers or calls him back. If that is true then how could he go to the police and file a harassment charge against me? Yes, that's what he did.

He did not need any proof obviously because there is none. I had talked to a domestic abuse organization in my county. He had been demanding my cell phone number but I refuse to give that to him. They said that I do not need to give it to him but I can email him. Since he has no means to check a computer since he has no place to live I set the email up to go directly to his phone. So, I emailed him and he started telling me that he is going to the police because I threatened him. WHAT?!! I said I had no idea what he was talking about but he kept going. I emailed him about 7-8 times before I told him to leave me alone.

Last week I get a letter in the mail from the police station in his county saying that there is a warrant for my arrest. I had to drive an hour to go turn myself in. The complaint was that I had texted him over 25 times in a 24 hour period and he felt annoyed and harassed. He lied, but was still able to get me arrested. I was handcuffed and put in a cell for 2 hours to wait to go in front of a judge. I plead not guilty and have to go back down there in a couple weeks for a court date to go in front of the judge again to prove my innocence. I have never been locked up before. He knows how scared of that I am, and if he knew that this happened to me he would chuckle and be so proud of himself for hurting me.

How did this happen? How could the first restraining order get dropped without anyone notifying me? How could he make up lies and get me arrested when there is still a "refrain from" order? Where is the protection for me? He is doing this to me because he thinks that I have a new boyfriend and he is pissed. He wants to get back at me for leaving him and moving on. Does anyone wonder why women who are abused continue to stay? They are afraid of things like THIS happening to them! He TOLD me that he was coming after me "10 fold", meaning what ever he feels that I did to him, I am going to pay 10 times worse. He TOLD me that he was going to make me spend thousands of dollars in lawyer fees and court fees, and he has made me do that. How can I support HIS kids? What happens to them if I am sitting in jail? WHERE IS THE PROTECTION FOR ME??? WHEN WILL THIS END???

I am terrified of him and what he can do to me. He has shown that he can hurt me before, and even now that we are divorced and he lives an hour away. Something needs to be done to protect women who have been abused and continue to be abused. I had the strength to get out and away from my abuser, but he continues to abuse me. Can't anyone help and protect me? I am alone, scared, and vulnerable. He can do whatever he wants to me and no one can stop him. Where is the justice? I do not know.

I'm so happy

I am. I never really knew what true happiness was until this year. I rang in 2012 in the most wonderful way. I can now be me and I'm loved for that. No more trying to be better, or trying to make everyone else happy. I can now just be me and that's good enough. I'm loved for all that I am and all that I can be, even my "bad" parts. I don't have to hide anymore and it's such a wonderful feeling! It's real, and genuine, and wonderful. I wish everyone could be this happy. So to spread a little bit of happiness I am offering a cpl freebies. They are designs that I made for fabric but turned into 12x12 papers. :) Enjoy and keep smiling ~ :)

Click The Pic!

I should have known

I should have known some things that I never knew before last week.
I should have known that he would call CPS on his own kids. Where does he think they would go? He has no place to live! He is just squating at friends' houses week to week. It's alright though, CPS came and saw and left. I am doing everything right so I have no worries.
I should have known that he would steal my scrap booking monthly payment. He isn't paying me any child support and then he goes and steals the only income that I have for myself right now. The only income that supports HIS OWN KIDS!! He is a piece of work he is.
I should have known that he would take the money back from me that I spent on buying him thoughtful xmas presents before he left. Do you think he would let his own kids have that money? No, and I should have known that. Stupid me for thinking that he could ever love his kids. He can't love anyone but himself.
I should have known that he would contact everyone that we both had as friends' and lie to them about me. It's funny because everything he says to them about me is exactly what HE is doing, NOT me! :)
I should have known that he would call the cops on me and try to get me arrested. If I am in jail where do his kids go? Who knows, he only thinks about himself, another thing I should have known. So, the cops came, saw and left, lol. Because I am doing everything right. :)
I should have known that he would be a self-centered vengeful *rick who can't see clearly through his "pill" goggles. I played that game before, but I got help and I am better. He needs to do the same thing, but I KNOW that he won't. See, now I know some things that I should have known before.
So, all of these things are ok I guess, because I am doing nothing wrong, everything right, I am being strong for my girls and we are happy and healthy.
I should have known that I was in a downward spiral with him but I didn't. The important thing is that I know now and I can teach my girls how to be strong and stand on their own. :) So, my head is held up high, I am smiling, and I am starting over. I will earn that money back and I will spend it on my kids because that's what a good parent does. Thanks for reading! :D

Update

I am so sorry about my absence. I just realized recently, and I am not ashamed to share, that for the last 10 years I have been living in a domestic abuse situation. Now, I am smart and well spoken, and very nice to others, and I love helping others too, but I just could NOT see what others were seeing; that I was being abused. I feel so stupid, but I also feel so blessed that I have finally "woken up" and stepped into the light. I am out of the marriage now and free! My ex is still sending threatening messages and voice mails, but I am standing tall and not even responding to him. I have a great lawyer, a wonderful support system, and a therapist who thinks I am doing fantastic. My kids are happier, which I didn't even think was possible since they were already so happy before because I am a suberb mother. :D So, I will be busy for quite a while until we are all through with court, but I will be back.... and with more heart and passion for my designs then ever!

So Sorry!!! (To my CT also)

I haven't been around the last month too much. So much going on. Jillian my youngest (6) broke her arm and is in a cast for 6 weeks, we have about 10 fluffy cute little kittens that I rescued from the barn before they became ferral so I can find them homes. Although finding them homes seems impossible!! They are very friendly now, and I litter trained them all, and some are half maine coon. Just so cute cute!! I have been also working on some personal spiritual issues I guess you would say.
I just got a brand new CT and I think I have been neglecting them!! :(( I am sooo sorry ladies!!! I have a few things I have been designing, but I don't feel like finishing the kits so what I am going to do is stick them all together and throw them on here as a freebie.... after I get some coffee in me, lol.
To my CT: Send me a list of any kits or products of mine that are at ACOT and I will go through and make them available to you. Make your list long or short, I don't care, lol. You can put your list here as a comment, or send it to my gmail email, or even hit me up on FaceBook.

So, gonna go make some coffee now. I've been up since 2:30 and just can't get back to sleepy so I might as well make the best of some free time with no kids, lol.

NEW Cluster Essentials!

Every time I have something in my digi stash that says "essentials" I always find myself going back to it when making LO's. This is defiantly one of those!


Having trouble with clusters? Do you get 'cluster envy'? Then this is the product you need! 30 individual .png files, mostly in gray scale for easy re-coloring! I've made a couple LO's with this myself and with each LO I don't even use more than 10 of the 30 files and it looks great! So, Cluster Essentials is FULL of items to make the perfect cluster, and the best thing is that you can use them over and over again!

Here are a cpl LO's that I did with this:

I started with this pic of my husband and me, and I wanted to add the word-art freebies I DL'd the other day. They are by Janet Carr at PxlCafe.

So, I took the colors from my sleeve and the word-art and used those colors to re-color the items. I only used 10 out of the 30 that is in this "kit"!

I use PS CS and the way that I re-colored the files is I added a new layer on top, created a clipping mask, filled in the new layer with color, then played around with the layer style. Color, overlay, soft light, color dodge.... I tried them all to see which would look best. When I found the best one, I merged all the layers and added it to my page. When you close the original file, make sure you do not save it or it will be re-colored forever.



This LO was done the same way, using the colors in the pictures. I made my husband sit down and write a little something about his daughters, lol. The oldest 2 are my step-daughters, and the younger 2 came out of me. So since they are 'his' I thought that he should do the journaling.

I will come back and post the LO's using the Cluster Essentials that my CT made. Right now I am going to go sew. :) TFL!

Weather update

Weather Update

INSTALLING SPRING...

¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ 44% DONE.

Install delayed....please wait.


Installation failed. 404 error: Season not found.


Season "Spring" cannot be located. The season you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable.
Please try again later.


* snagged it from handerful at ACOT, it was just too funny not to re-post!

I made a skirt for my daughter!

While blog hopping I found this tutorial so I decided to whip one up, and it turned out great considering I've never made clothes before!

Yes the room is the same pink as the fabric..my daughter chose the paint.

The only girly fabric I had long enough was this pink and the doggie/kitty fabric to match it. I know, it's sad. I see all of these craft rooms FULL of yards and yards of every color under the sun with matching patterned fabric, gazillions of fat quarters, tons of thread.... I only have like 4 spools and they're all white, maybe one black. :(( I'm sad.
Anyway.. this is the skirt. It is a little big on Jillian (7) but I'll fix that.

Ok... gonna quilt tomorrow after I have my coffee and check my emails and hopefully upload a new digital product! HINT: If you have trouble with clustering, this will be the product for you!!! G'night all!

I am going to make a quilt

Yup! I have officially decided to try my hand at quilt making! I was making a purse the other day and I stitched a bunch of scraps together to make the outside instead of just a boring whole peice. Then I quilted it freestyle with my sewing machine.

The fabric I used is from some fat quarter bundles I picked up at JoAnne's. I bought the red polka dots extra cuz I just love red fabric with white polka dots!

This was the VERY FIRST time I ever tried stitching pieces together in an un-even pattern, and also the very first time I tried machine quilting. Apparently to do it right you need to use a different foot on the machine, which I will have to pick up the next time I go craft shopping.

For the past hour I have been blog hopping through quilt country finding tutorials and what not. Quilter's blogs are interesting and colorful and just FUN to look at!!
I added a blog roll to the right hand side--> see--> over there--> keep looking--> -->scroll down -->further --> further--> there ya go!

So, have fun blog hopping like I did, and check back in for the process of making my very first quilt! I'm sure it will be ugly, painful, confusing, and embarassing... but at least it will be FUN!